When moving to another country/state/city there’s almost a guarantee that you’ll miss where you came from. If not, great! That doesn’t make you selfish or cold-hearted: it just means you’re able to feel present and trust your decision to move.
But maybe you’re like me: feeling a lump in my throat when thinking about my fluffy dogs at home, girls’ night with my squad or a hug from Dad. And if that’s the case, this post might help comfort you during moments of heartache and homesickness.
1. Facetime/skype/zoom you name it
I know, I know, everyone says that. BUT, this actually helps me a lot.
Having just moved to the US, it was difficult to use FaceTime in a way that felt good or “enough.” I would think about FaceTiming friends and family, but then experience this weird feeling like I “had to” (similar to when your mom tells you to call Grandma, and you’re like “will do”…) I love my family and friends to the moon and back, but sometimes the idea of a FaceTime seemed exhausting.
Luckily, my amazing man Devin convinced me that I just had to do it, reminding me how thankful I’d be after. Now I almost have one FaceTime a day, and it’s like my “hygge”-meter gets filled up (hygge [pronounced: “hoo-GA”] is Danish for almost all the good things in the world, but let’s translate is as “cozy” for now, and I’ll elaborate later) gets filled up.
I wanna give you 3 pieces of advice tho, 1) If you’re both busy, make sure to set a date and a time, especially if there’s a time difference. Obvious? Maybe, but I have definitely woken my parents up a few times in the middle of the night, completely forgetting that people in Denmark aren’t always awake when I want them to be. 2) These phone calls don’t have to be hours long. Sometimes I get annoyed or impatient from being on a long call, and I’ll admit when I don’t feel like talking more. 3) Make sure you have a good connection. There’s no greater mood-killer than when half your conversation includes “I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up” or “Wait up, it says poor connection?”
2. Get something Danish in my system
What I like to do is to bawl along with a bunch of Danish music such as Kim Larsen, Tim Christensen, Mads Langer and Lukas Graham.
I find myself overcome with pride of my Danish roots, and I tend to appreciate Danish artists so much more now. Other ideas of setting a Danish mood would be watching some Danish news, an episode of “Maddysten” (one of those cooking contests that makes you wanna be the next Gordon Ramsay), and cooking up a Danish dish (of course with some inspiration from “Maddysten”).
I have a feeling that Devin appreciates the cooking more than the screamed Danish lyrics, but at least he pretends to like the music.
3. Pick up a hobby
Speaking of cooking: I’ve spent a ton of time at home because of a working permit I’ve yet to receive and a pandemic quarantine, so I started experimenting in the kitchen (actually a kitchenette without an oven, so I’ve been creative you guys).
If you have a history of burning pans or maybe you’re just in love with the Veggie Grill down the street, that’s okay. There are countless hobbies or activities out there, and who knows: you might even be an excellent knitter, trumpet player, Candy Crusher or herb mama! You just won’t know unless you try. I’ve been trying to make “Tarteletter,” a Danish stew usually with hen and asparagus placed in a little pie form, and let me admit, I’m still working on it…
I’ve actually become a pretty good cheff!
4. Send messages to the people I miss
The message doesn’t have to be an essay declaring your infinite love, but mine actually ends up like that a lot, now that I think about it…
My messages are usually reminders to the people who matter most: “I miss you! You have a special place in my heart!” This will for sure bring a smile to their face, and I’ll bet all the money I (don’t) have that they’ll send you a text or a heart back.
Here’s an example of a message I sent to my family in our closed Facebook group (which is an amazing idea to have btw!):
So if that’s what you feel like, go for it. If that’s too much “butterflies and rainbows” for you, just ask them how they’re doing!
5. Be sad
To be honest, this helps me the most. When I’ve been down for days and everything seems to weigh on me, I cry it out and feel the lump in my throat disappear.
I’m lucky enough to live with a person who can hold me while I let all the emotions run free. That might not be the case with you, but I still recommend leaning on the people around you. Often when you open up to friends, they feel even more secure about opening up to you as well.
It’s not embarrassing to feel sad, and it doesn’t have to mean that you’re not happy where you are. My mom said something before I left that has helped my mindset a lot, even if it seems so logically obvious; When I’m in Denmark I’ll be craving to be in LA, and there’ll be times while living in LA where I wanna be in Denmark. So simply said and it’s just the “Grass is always greener” thing, but that reminds me to be present wherever I am.
Maybe your mama has a nugget of expressions to help you too, if not, you can borrow mine for a tad. She’s pretty wise and she also speaks English.
Feel free to comment below or hit contact to tell me how you feel about being away from home!
Kys og kram,
Victoria Liv