Last month I attended my first American wedding (besides my own, ofc). On Friday, September 25th, Devin’s cousin Erin got married in a beautiful barn about an hour from Cleveland.
Dev and I booked our flights, packed our bags, and headed to the East Coast. Besides being guests at a gorgeous wedding and first-timers in Ohio, this trip would also be the very first time I’d meet Dev’s mom’s side of the family. That’s right: even though Dev and I have been married for more than 9 months, I hadn’t met his mom or her family yet. It’s been a little complicated with Covid and with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins spread out between Florida, North and South Carolina.
The wedding
The ceremony started at 4 pm. A bunch of chairs were lined up in a flawless garden beside the barn. The right and left halves were separated by an aisle to the altar. This was all so far beyond dreamy; I’m talking about something you’d only see in those cute cry-your-makeup-off love movies.
But no music? Huh? The DJ mixed up the dates and was probably at home in his jammies. No worries, though, and the problem was easily fixed with a pick-up truck’s open doors and some loud speakers.
A handful of stunning bridesmaids and handsome groomsmen started off the runway show, gliding up to the altar and the ceremony began. Tears of joy, wedding vows (American tradition), and two solid “I do”s enough to make everything even better. The barn was decorated with fairy lights and traditional round, white-decked tables. With a bar on one end and the DJ (who had now arrived!) on the other, the evening was destined to be full of joy!
American vs. Danish traditions
When it comes to being a wedding guest, Katherine Heigl’s role in 27 Dresses makes me look like a newbie. I realized I’m really green in weddings –especially the American ones.
The newly married couple gets their own little table on the other side of the dance floor, I guess so they can look at all their guests (?) and so no one is in doubt who we’re celebrating (?). Here’s a hint: the female in the long white $2000 dress is the bride. But, yeah, to be honest the groom at a formal wedding can be tougher to spot. After watching a whole season of Married at First Sight and 90 Day Fiance, I’ve realized that that’s very American. I haven’t seen that tradition at Danish weddings.
Another tradition that seems to be European, but which is also incorporated into American weddings, is throwing rice as the married couple walks down the aisle. This tradition can be traced back to old Rome, throwing seeds symbolizes growth. Thus the whole rice-mess and
“planting” a new life together. Other little things they would throw? Grain, dates, nuts, or coins to wish the couple happiness and a good future (and obviously a full belly).
Now we’re ready for the party! Most people have attended a wedding where you tip silverware on the glass and make the two main characters kiss. Meanwhile, to a Dane: “Booooring, let’s spice this up!”… In Denmark, hitting forks on a wine glass means the couple must stand on their chairs and kiss. Enough? Nope! If the party stomps on the floor, the couple must kiss under the table. Just to be a little different, Danes do the normal kiss when all guests tap their silverware on their plates.
We’re not completely done kissing. If the groom or the bride leaves the party room for any reason, all the guests from the opposite sex will go up and kiss the left-alone-partner on the cheek.
If you’re curious about more silly traditions, check out these links: Danish traditions (https://www.toptableplanner.com/blog/danish-wedding-traditions/) American traditions (https://weddings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Wedding_Traditions)
Can we get married again, please?!
Since Devin and I got married on January 17th, 2020 (the best and almost the only great thing to happen this year), we recognized a few things: repeating the officiant, ending with “I do,” getting used to the titles of “husband” and “wife,” and wearing the rings. BUT we also saved a bunch of the other good stuff for later. I didn’t wear that stunning I’m-gonna-be-broke dress. We didn’t host a huge party. And none of us had family in attendance (but Dev’s brother Hunter was there to witness in a hockey jersey and flip flops!).
When we decided to get married we agreed on saving the festivities for a later time. Our reasons were mostly financial and also had to do with time frame: we had 3 months to get married from the day I arrived in the States on a K-1 Visa. I can’t see how any couple would organize a (multicultural) dream wedding in 90 days. I mean, we need to combine Jewish, American and Danish traditions, to gather family from three different continents, and to decide just what country, exactly, the wedding will be in. Once we’re more financially stable, and once Covid is only a thing in the history books, we’ll plan to bring families together and live out these dreams…
So, Erin’s perfect wedding definitely made our heads explode with ideas, longing, and excitement!
Adventure as a couple
With all that said about fairytale weddings and meeting Devin’s crazy (but incredibly lovely!) family, I also just wanna touch on how great it feels to travel with my best person.
We’ve grown from only seeing each other on vacations and taking millions of cheesy couple pics to an everyday lifestyle more or less hiding in a studio (COVID-19, that bastard…). Even though we’ve managed the whole newlywed-under-a-pandemic situation to an A++ it was such a relief with the fresh air, foreign ground, and new faces (in masks)!
Btw I’m thinking about starting a corona-sucks-I-wanna-go-to-Denmark club. Would you join? Okay jk. But for real.
Love isn’t put on pause by a pandemic or by the distance between Denmark and California.
Let’s all remember to share some handsanny, keep our distance, and wish for better times.
Until then, check out how I deal with missing friends and family HERE or maybe get read my COVID post HERE. And to Erin and Cole, congratulations again and welcome to married life!!
Kys og kram,
Victoria Liv
